If the World was like Canada: A Realistic Comparison

Newsflash: Nazi Germany Apologizes for the Abuse of its Jews

Berlin, July 11, 1958: (New Order News Agency)

An ebullient Chancellor Herman Goering read Germany’s official Apology to its Jews today in the Reichstag, as part of that nation’s post-war efforts to “bring closure” to the wounds of the past.

The Apology is part of Germany’s Aryan Truth and Reconciliation Commission (ATRC), established this year by the Reich government after criticism of its assimilation policies towards Jews was raised by human rights groups in Switzerland.

“That we are a God-sent nation was proved when Providence granted us victory in the last war” said the aging Chancellor Goering to a hushed and respectful group of Reichstag deputies.

“So we have the magnanimity and greatness to admit that yes, some individual abuses did take place against the Semitic people who were assimilated into our Greater Reich. If such abuses can be proven and verified, we will consider limited compensation. But we admit no wrongdoing. The time for blame is over. We must move on.”

Unsubstantiated rumors of high death rates in the Relocation Centers run by Germany’s SS security forces have circulated in recent years, but are generally discounted by credible authorities and scholars.

“The so-called Jewish Holocaust has been debunked” declared Berlin Gauleiter and renowned historian Dr. Kurt Hofstetter, who also chairs Germany’s ATRC.

“Just look at the statistics. Random abuses don’t constitute genocide. If people died in the Centers, it wasn’t the result of a deliberate state policy, but because of the acts of undisciplined individuals.”

Grand Rabbi Solomon Ascher, the head of Germany’s Jewish Elder’s Council, the National Judenrate, welcomed Chancellor Goering’s Apology after warmly applauding the leader from his seat on the podium next to Goering.

“On behalf of all of our great nation’s Jews, I accept the Chancellor’s Apology. Today, our people’s pain can finally be put to rest. Healing has arrived.”

Meanwhile, a small group of dissident Jews under the leadership of the outlawed terrorist Simon Wiesenthal held an unnoticed protest outside the Reichstag during the Apology, against what they called “the shameful whitewash being perpetrated by the ATRC”.

The group, known as The Friends of the Disappeared (FoD), called for the disinterring of supposed “mass graves” in the former territories of Silesia and Poland where the Semitic Relocation Centers operated during the war.

The Gestapo has conducted a thorough investigation of the claims of the FoD, and found no evidence to support their claims. A Gestapo official warned the Wiesenthal group to “stop making wild and harmful allegations”.

“There are no mass graves of Jews” said the Gestapo official to reporters today.

“Not even a hundred people died in the Relocation Zone, and those who did were victims of natural causes, like tuberculosis.”

The German ATRC has been allocated $68 million Deutsch Marks by Reich authorities to conduct an official investigation into the fate of those in the Relocation Zones.

The ATRC will hold closed forums where Jews selected by the National Judenrate will be allowed to share their stories before three ATRC Commissioners appointed by the Chancellor’s office. Neither the SS nor the Gestapo will participate in the forums, which will be “purely educational”, to quote the ATRC Chairman Dr. Hofstetter.

“We expect to publish our findings within five years” said Hofstetter. “We have nothing to hide. But neither will our work be a witch hunt.”

In Rome, Pope Pius today applauded the Goering Apology and the ATRC, describing them as “a blessed act of statesmanship and truthfulness. This is a new beginning for Christian Germany.”